(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2015 08:43 pmThis journal is friends only.
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If you want to be added, there should be commenting.
(no subject)
Dec. 5th, 2011 02:13 pm1. It's pretty hard to live a life without regrets. Regrets aren't great. But sometimes regrets will stick around anyway, no matter how much we might wish that wasn't the case.
2. Reconciliation is an admirable goal. But it's not a process that can happen unless all parties are willing to try it.
3. You cannot make someone reconcile. The circumstances surrounding your desire for reconciliation do not matter. If you choose to use your unfortunate circumstances to force people into conversations they don't want to have, that is emotional manipulation. That is wrong. That is always wrong. It also will not result in honest reconciliation.
4. You don't get a pass for treating people poorly just because you have a chronic illness. There is not an 'I have a chronic illness' coupon book to tear pages out when you need them in trade for a pass to treat people poorly. People who have the very, very good fortune to have good health are not obligated to like you, reconcile with you, or otherwise communicate with you because you have a chronic illness.
5. If you treat people poorly in deep enough ways over extended periods of time, they will not want to communicate with you, much less reconcile with you.
6. It is their right to refuse to communicate. Again, if you choose to use your unfortunate circumstances to force people into conversations they don't want to have, that is emotional manipulation, and that is wrong.
7. If you repeatedly try to force communication on people who have refused to communicate with you, one outcome may be that the people you want to talk to you may be triggered by the sight of your name or your email address.
8. Asking people to link a post around the internet so people who do not follow you will read it may also trigger these hypothetical people.
9. It is also unfair to ask your friends to get involved in an effort to make people listen to you who have valid reasons for not listening to you. It is always unfair. It is unfair to the people who follow your friends. It is unfair to your friends.
10. Anyone who thinks about linking posts may want to think twice and ask themselves some questions before they link: why might this person who already depends heavily on email to communicate ask me to link something for others to see?
Is it because this person has done something, or several things, that means others will not or cannot listen to this person for their own personal safety and wellbeing?
I'd prefer to keep any discussion about this away from LiveJournal and/or Dreamwidth. I imagine that anybody who has something to say about this knows where to find me.
I'd note that this is the beginning of a very long week for me. If you don't get a response for a couple of days, it's not because I'm ignoring you. Right now my chief priority is getting through the real-life week, but under the circumstances this post didn't seem like it should wait.
2. Reconciliation is an admirable goal. But it's not a process that can happen unless all parties are willing to try it.
3. You cannot make someone reconcile. The circumstances surrounding your desire for reconciliation do not matter. If you choose to use your unfortunate circumstances to force people into conversations they don't want to have, that is emotional manipulation. That is wrong. That is always wrong. It also will not result in honest reconciliation.
4. You don't get a pass for treating people poorly just because you have a chronic illness. There is not an 'I have a chronic illness' coupon book to tear pages out when you need them in trade for a pass to treat people poorly. People who have the very, very good fortune to have good health are not obligated to like you, reconcile with you, or otherwise communicate with you because you have a chronic illness.
5. If you treat people poorly in deep enough ways over extended periods of time, they will not want to communicate with you, much less reconcile with you.
6. It is their right to refuse to communicate. Again, if you choose to use your unfortunate circumstances to force people into conversations they don't want to have, that is emotional manipulation, and that is wrong.
7. If you repeatedly try to force communication on people who have refused to communicate with you, one outcome may be that the people you want to talk to you may be triggered by the sight of your name or your email address.
8. Asking people to link a post around the internet so people who do not follow you will read it may also trigger these hypothetical people.
9. It is also unfair to ask your friends to get involved in an effort to make people listen to you who have valid reasons for not listening to you. It is always unfair. It is unfair to the people who follow your friends. It is unfair to your friends.
10. Anyone who thinks about linking posts may want to think twice and ask themselves some questions before they link: why might this person who already depends heavily on email to communicate ask me to link something for others to see?
Is it because this person has done something, or several things, that means others will not or cannot listen to this person for their own personal safety and wellbeing?
I'd prefer to keep any discussion about this away from LiveJournal and/or Dreamwidth. I imagine that anybody who has something to say about this knows where to find me.
I'd note that this is the beginning of a very long week for me. If you don't get a response for a couple of days, it's not because I'm ignoring you. Right now my chief priority is getting through the real-life week, but under the circumstances this post didn't seem like it should wait.
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